Saturday, February 6, 2016

February 6th, 2016 Busy Saturday

February 6th, 2016 Busy Saturday

It was a busy Saturday. I was up earlier than I wanted to be, considering how late I went to bed-but I knew a nap would happen at some point this afternoon, so I jumped up and prepared for the day.

I had a location broadcast from  a grocery store's ten hour customer appreciation sale. I planned a snack in the middle of the broadcast, but I didn't pack one. Since it was a grocery store, I had options.

I finally made it home mid-afternoon in time to prepare a great lunch (grilled cheese on Ezekiel bread and homemade guacamole and chips), get a few things done--then hit that pillow for a much anticipated snooze.

My naps tend to go long. It did a little--so it really pushed my schedule a little closer together tonight. I had short time to workout, prepare dinner and get ready for my dj gig. I made it happen with a little multitasking. I was getting ready while dinner cooked.

"You should jump out there and line dance with them!" One of the casino reps was encouraging me. Uh, okay--but I don't know how!!

I quickly figured out to simply watch the others and do what they're doing. Sure, I was a couple beats behind--but who's counting, right? I don't remember ever line dancing in the history of me--so this was a first. It was exercise! 
 photo After Line Dancing_zpsk7vcfmy2.jpg
The gig went well. I'm glad it's done!

It was a busy Saturday. I'm proud to say, I'm about to lay my head on the pillow and feel that feeling that comes with knowing I did what I set out to do today. I maintained the integrity of my maintenance calorie budget, I remained abstinence from refined sugar for the 647th day in a row, I exceeded my water goal by four cups, I had a great workout and I remained in active/ongoing support with others.

I'll do my best to do it again tomorrow!

My Tweets Today:

Thank you for reading and your continued support,

Friday, February 5, 2016

February 5th, 2016 Recovery Level

February 5th, 2016 Recovery Level

A day like today requires some forethought, a little planning, a little prepping, and I'm not much of a planner, in the traditional sense. For some, preparing meals far in advance--then grabbing them on the way out, works. For me, the extent of my planning simply requires I keep some options available, then, when it's time, I can decide what I want to prepare. I keep things in two kitchens, at the studio and home. This approach seems to work well for me.

I prepare two meals at work most weekdays. It's funny, a friend of mine recently commented "not everyone has a full kitchen at work." Neither do I! We have two toaster ovens, a microwave and a single burner hot plate thingy. It works well for me. If I didn't have this level of kitchen options at work, it would require me to plan, prepare everything at home and pack it up each day. I'm grateful that's not the case, because again, I'm not much of a planner. But if I had to, I'd do it--because whatever it takes, right? My continued physical freedom from morbid obesity and the mental/emotional freedom my recovery provides, are things very important to me.

I was thinking today about the differences between my initial weight loss and this turnaround from relapse/regain. And it's a big list of differences. The biggest difference for me is a much clearer understanding of food addiction in my life. Specifically what it is, the differences between it and emotional/stress eating and the most important thing for me: With this clarity comes a "recovery level" reverence.

For someone with my body chemistry, all it takes to shoot right back up the scale is a release of this importance level. My body has proven it can quickly return to four or five hundred pounds in short order. And I'm never immune to that fact. Sure, I've done things differently nutrition-wise that I truly believe has changed the way my body works, but it could quickly change back if I were to walk away from the fundamental elements of my recovery.

As I pondered these differences in approach, I kept going back to the question: Why was it so hard to accept and fully embrace a perspective grounded in recovery principles? 

Aside from the bio-chemical triggers keeping the addiction centers humming--and protecting itself with compulsions against any thought or action to the contrary, I think it's because we're talking about food. We're talking about weight loss, which is never short of fad offerings or the latest product, pill, surgery or special plan. I think it's because so much focus is centered on the specific plan or method with food/exercise instead of the heavily involved mental/emotional dynamics and possible (different for each of us) ruling properties of addiction in play (absolutely in my case). I've said from the very beginning: It's 20% food and exercise, 80% mental/emotional. And if that ratio is flipped, I believe it creates the yo-yo dynamics of which many of us are familiar.

Flipping that ratio and focusing super heavy on sweepingly dramatic changes in food and exercise without giving the mental/emotional side of things proper attention is like calling a plumbing crew to clean up the mess but not repair the pipe. In medical terms, it's treating/managing the side effects/symptoms, without directly treating the issues creating them in the first place.

But how do we identify the mental/emotional things in need of our focus? It takes time and energy in the direction of a super self-honest inward exploration. This is why a simplistic approach with food and exercise, in my opinion, works well--because it creates the head space needed to apply this greater focus. The more mental/emotional work is done, the more we're able to adjust/tweak our food and exercise along the way--and if we're fully accepting and embracing of our plan--and we've made sure it's one that fits who we are in all of our individuality, then by golly--some big changes are bound to happen in ways different from any other time.

No matter the ratio we choose, if we apply ourselves completely--we're likely getting results. The ratio used will determine if these results will be temporary or sustainable. 

And I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt--if ever I release my embrace of this recovery level reverence, I'll quickly become lost, again.

And I really enjoy being found.

Just a few thoughts on my mind tonight.
I went out on a date tonight! It was awesome. It felt good to get out and laugh, enjoy the evening and just be okay with where I am.

This is a big and busy weekend. I have a location broadcast from a grocery store tomorrow midday, then I'm the guest DJ for a big casino promotion tomorrow night. And of course, Sunday is the big game! I've been invited to a party and I'm planning on accepting the late Sunday afternoon invite after a nice midday Sunday visit with mom.

My Tweets Today:

Thank you for reading and your continued support,

Thursday, February 4, 2016

February 4th, 2016 A True Tweets Only

February 4th, 2016 A True Tweets Only

Getting some extra rest! A true Tweets Only, tonight. We'll catch up tomorrow night!

It was a fabulous day, by the way.

Are you on Twitter? Discover the Live-Tweet Feed in real time throughout each day by visiting @SeanAAnderson

If you're on MyFitnessPal, friend me! My MFP Username is the same: SeanAAnderson

My Tweets Today:

Thank you for reading and your continued support,

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

February 3rd, 2016 That Hope Thing

February 3rd, 2016 That Hope Thing

Another good maintenance weigh-in today impresses upon me a reality I once believed impossible to reach. I have zero complaints. When I hashtag grateful and blessed, you can take it to the bank, I mean it in every sense of those words.

Reaching a point in maintenance where my body efficiently uses what I put in it, is just unreal. At 2300 calories per day, my brain says, you're eating too much, but obviously, my body disagrees.

Keeping my non-negotiable elements tight is always key for me, every. single. day. Maintaining the integrity of my calorie budget and abstaining from refined sugar are key elements, for sure. Aside from the maintenance of those important boundaries, I really believe where this natural evolution of choices has brought me, to a more whole foods, less processed foods (maybe an 80/20 split, some days 90/10), place, is largely responsible for this seemingly repaired metabolism. 

You know me, I recommend a gradual evolution of choices based on what foods you truly enjoy and starting from right where you are. So, please don't get me wrong--this isn't a eat what I eat thing and it's not even an eat better and repair your metabolism thing-- it's a hope thing. It's a patience thing. It's a trusting the process thing. It's a one day at a time thing. It's a being okay with where you are thing. It's a gradual evolution of choices thing.

And about that hope thing...please believe it exist. I believe you must believe in hope because hopelessness doesn't contribute to positive changes.

It's tough sometimes because embracing hope often demands blind faith.

When I started this blog I was low on hope with very little faith. Those two things have grown for me considerably since that day over seven years ago.

What I hope this blog does for you, is attach a vision of possibilities--strengthening your faith and giving your hope plenty of life.

Okay, enough of that... ;)

Today's bi-weekly weigh-in:
 photo 208.6 weigh day_zpsyce0qgp1.jpg
This represents a .4 pound drop since January 20th and 209.0

This also continues a very slow downward trend since 212.0 on December 23rd, 211.4 January 6th, 209.0 on January 20th and then today's number. Some tweaks might be considered, soon. For now, I'm feeling fine.

I feel very blessed and immensely grateful. 

My Tweets Today:

Thank you for reading and your continued support,

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

February 2nd, 2016 The Living It Each Day

February 2nd, 2016 The Living It Each Day

The following excerpts are pieces of a blog post during my initial weight loss and then an excerpt from a much more recent post during this turnaround.

Since writing the first excerpted post: I hit my initial goal, maintained for a 1.5 years, relapsed/regained for 1.5 years--gaining back 164 pounds--and now I'm twenty-one months into the recovery and turnaround. I've been in maintenance mode now for several months, and I'm currently maintaining an overall 296 pound weight loss.

I was still eating sugar and had a slightly different perception of food addiction when this first post was initially published. But what the following excerpt contains is a foundation philosophy I stand behind 100%. My natural evolution along this road has led me into a deeper understanding of my food addiction and more specifically, my addiction to refined sugar and its effects. You'll notice this difference between the two posts featured in tonight's edition--One from July 2010 and one from October 2014.

My personal plan, the one that works for me today, is different than it was back then-and these differences came about through the experience, the trial and error--the living it each day and exploring what was working well and what wasn't working at all. Okay, here we go back to July 2010, shortly after AOL ran a feature story about this blog and my weight loss:

I started this morning in a rush, with little time to do anything other than shower and dress. I can skip some things if I absolutely must. Checking email and facebook? I didn't have time. Morning non-weighted strength training exercises? They'll have to wait until later. Breakfast? No time for that stuff, right? Uh...the biggest NO in the world. It's a must no matter how late I oversleep. Breakfast might be grabbing some fruit and cheese as I fly for the door, but it's never missed. And remember, I was always a "no breakfast" or a "junk breakfast" kind of guy. By "junk breakfast," I mean convenience store fare---Doritos, snack cakes, real Coke, maybe a deep fried cinnamon roll or two. My breakfast choices have dramatically improved, and what has improved even more is my absolute insistence on something good to wake my metabolism. It's a non-negotiable part of my morning routine.

It happened after the Tulsa World feature article several months ago and it's happening now with this AOL story. People get the wrong idea about my approach based solely on the headline of the story. The World article listed my "Fast Food Tips and Tricks," and the AOL headline mentions my weight loss "without eating salad." I can't blame the media, it's all information I've supplied them. And it's all true. I don't like salads. But---don't get the wrong idea, because I eat fruits and vegetables--and I'm not on some crazy "fast food diet." I eat what I like and nothing I don't. But what does that mean?

My choices had to gradually improve over time. I just knew that if I started forcing myself to eat foods I really didn't like, I would lose weight. What? Yes, I would lose weight, but I would be miserable the entire time, and eventually I would revert to my old habits, my food addiction couldn't tolerate salads or pre-packaged foods too long before I had a meltdown---and I knew that about myself. It was one of the crucial errors I had made in past weight loss attempts. Maybe you're familiar with making that special grocery list, "because tomorrow we're starting!" I decided on Day 1 that I didn't need a special list of foods. I wanted to beat my food addiction---and I knew the only way to do that was face real food, in real everyday real-life situations. That's the reason for my "nothing is off limits" philosophy.

This philosophy completely eliminated a couple of things: Feelings of deprivation and feeling like I was cheating. OK---I might be able to do this! 

I've never felt deprived and I can't feel bad about myself if I eat a serving of potato chips. Here's what happened: My choices started to gradually improve throughout this journey. A mid-day snack in the beginning may have been a 110 calorie pack of Funyuns. Somewhere along the way, that mid-day snack evolved into fresh fruit. My calorie budget is all about eating normal portions of anything. And since I'm on a budget, I have to make what I call "calorie value" decisions. 

People still freak out if they see me eating something like a piece of pizza, candy, or even a soft-serve lowfat ice cream cone---because hey, aren't you that weight loss guy? Uh, yeah sure---but what I am more than anything is a normal person. 

A normal person, eating normal portions of normal food, in normal everyday food situations. If I'm having dinner at your house, there's no need to prepare something special "because we know you're on a diet." I'll navigate my choices in a very normal, very responsible way---with self-honesty about portion sizes and an eye for the best calorie values available at the moment. When I end every blog with "good choices," I'm not saying perfect choices...just good choices. And what that meant on day 1 and what it means today is a little different. The choices evolve in a natural fashion, based on what I like. So my good choices may be different from yours. I like and often enjoy vegetables. I love fruit. I rarely eat fast food these days...all a gradual evolution of my "nothing is off limits" approach. A big salad? Never...and that's ok.

It's interesting for me to go back and read a post like this. I am a "normal person," but at the time of that blog post, I was still very much in search of "my normal," something I've written about extensively over the last twenty-one months.

The above post was from July 2010. Now let's leap to October 2014:

One of the things I've given a lot of thought to lately is, what does it mean to be "normal?" I've concluded "normal" is a relative term. Your normal isn't my normal. We're all different.
 photo 52503214.jpg
This guy wanted to be normal. He wanted to have a normal relationship with food. He had fixed in his mind a vision of what it meant for him to be normal, you know, like people who are of normal weight with normal eating behaviors who wear normal clothing. To him, in order to be normal, he had to simply eat less and exercise more, yeah--that would be some kind of normal. 

What this guy failed to recognize is, he was already normal. He was his normal. In order to achieve weight loss success, the perspective on "normal" had to change. It couldn't be someone else's normal, it had to be his own kind of normal. He could mimic someone else's normal for a while, but eventually his normal would override the abnormal impersonation of normal--and everything would go back to being his normal. 

Okay--enough of the third person--it's annoying. What I had to embrace was my normal. I had to let go of the idea that I wasn't normal because in that, I was constantly suggesting I wasn't good enough or something was wrong with me. I am good enough and there's nothing wrong with me--as long as I'm not trying to be someone else's normal.

My normal is: I'm addicted to sugar and if consumed, it triggers bio-chemical reactions that send me searching for more and more--and not just sugary items--I'm talking loads of carbs and high fat-- it's on!! Nothing trips my trigger like sugar--it is my normal. So I abstain, one day at a time--and it's my normal and I'm okay. 

I enjoy a drink of alcohol on rare occasion, perhaps once or twice, maybe three times a year. It doesn't negatively effect me beyond a slight feeling of intoxication. It doesn't trip anything for me. That's my normal. I have close friends with decades of sobriety, who--if they tried to mimic my normal, it would ruin their lives for who knows how long, maybe even kill them before they found recovery again. That's their normal. So they abstain, one day at a time, it's their normal and they're okay.

Embracing my normal is imperative to my success. My normal means that I take extraordinary care with food. My normal means no sugar. My normal means I remain active in seeking and offering support. My normal requires my attention and a rock solid commitment in doing what I do for my recovery. I fiercely protect it and never apologize for it.

I know many people who will enjoy their share of Halloween candy in a couple of weeks and it'll not be a big deal at all. That's their normal. If I tried to mimic their normal, you would witness a much different turnaround on these pages.

The biggest key for me to be my best, requires me to embrace and accept my normal, not someone else's. I hope and pray I spend the rest of my life celebrating my normal. Because if I do, I can't lose. 

This is what "finding what works for you" is all about. Sometimes that statement is misunderstood to mean "Find the plan or procedure" that works for you. I'm suggesting that "finding what works" for you and me, starts with honestly defining our personal normal, then fashioning a plan that gives us what we need.

I no longer want to be some idealized version of "normal," I just want to be mine.

My normal. I love that.

Tweets Only as far as today is concerned. Tomorrow is maintenance weigh-in day!

My Tweets Today:

Thank you for reading and your continued support,

Monday, February 1, 2016

February 1st, 2016 One More Day

February 1st, 2016 One More Day

I can't believe I put myself through all of that yesterday. I accept full responsibility for it all. Because once I finished writing the post and had adequate time to process it, I realized--I should have laughed it off. I really can't blame someone for looking out for someone they care about. I mean, honestly--even though the person commenting obviously doesn't know what I'm all about-- and clearly they've created their own story about me, the bottom line is, it doesn't matter. 

The only thing that matters is that I hit the pillow having completed another day in successful recovery. That's it. That's most important to me. Isn't that what's most important for all of us?? Just one more day, right? 

I really wrecked myself yesterday. I couldn't believe how much, really. I'm a little embarrassed, actually. But, I'm good, now.  I kind of threw a fit of sorts.

I took a sick day from work this morning. It was necessary. I also had little man with me before taking him back this afternoon.

I was around a little bit, but basically took a rest day from social media (except for my accountability tweets, of course--those are a part of my fundamental elements). I look forward to getting reconnected tomorrow.

I sincerely appreciate the outpouring of support on last night's post. Those comments helped me process, too. Some excellent points were made and made well.

It was a good food day, a great support day, complete with a wonderful conference call group tonight. I maintained the integrity of my calorie budget and I remained abstinent from refined sugar.

My workout tonight was preempted by weather coverage at the studio. I was driving to the gym in the middle of a lightening show to our South and I immediately knew, I had to go to the studio and handle our station's coverage--even though it's not severe and not expected to become severe, it's important to say that--because even a non-severe storm can sound severe. In this type coverage, it's basically a voice of calm.

Goodnight, my friends. I'm allowing the accountability Tweets to take it the rest of the way.

My Tweets Today:

Thank you for reading and your continued support,

Sunday, January 31, 2016

January 31st, 2016 I Took The Poison

January 31st, 2016 I Took The Poison

I've made today tough because I violated the 2nd agreement. I know better, but still--I took the poison and allowed it to course through me. It awakened all kinds of things; memories, emotional and psychological dynamics, all relating to my transformation, my relationship history and right down to the heart of what I'm all about.

I spent a lot of time today in bed, under the covers. When I wasn't sleeping, I spent time in communication with several support friends. I'll explain the specific poison I ingested, after this...

In case you're not familiar with the 2nd Agreement:

The 2nd Agreement:
Don’t take anything personally.

Dr. Don Miguel Ruiz’s book “The Four Agreements-A Practical Guide To Personal Freedom” is a powerful read. You can order it from Amazon here.

Agreement #1: Be Impeccable With Your Word
Agreement #2: Don't Take Anything Personally
Agreement #3: Don't Make Assumptions
Agreement #4: Always Do Your Best

About the 2nd Agreement, Dr. Ruiz writes:
Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.

Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds…Taking things personally makes you easy prey for these predators, the black magicians. They can hook you easily with one little opinion and feed you whatever poison they want, and because you take it personally, you eat it up….

But if you do not take it personally, you are immune in the middle of hell. Immunity in the middle of hell is the gift of this agreement.

Since its release in November, 1997, Dr. Ruiz's book has sold over five million copies in the US alone. It's powerful and applicable to anyone and in my opinion, should be required reading for anyone choosing to share large parts of their life in a public way, in an effort to help themselves and others, for instance, on a blog--like this one.

I don't look for anything people say about me, good or bad. I just don't. Until today, I didn't realize how many people think so horribly of me--largely based on a couple of relationships I was in over five years ago. 

I was simply starting my day by stopping by some blogs to offer support. One blogger, who has quite a large following, mentioned how part of the plan in her turnaround from relapse/regain was being a member of the comprehensive teleconference support group I co-facilitate with Life Coach Gerri Helms. It was a very powerful, honest and open post from start to finish--and this mention of the group was a small point near the end.

I scrolled down through the comments to add my encouragement when I discovered this comment from someone else:

"Please watch out for Sean. He has had multiple failed relationships with a few women, all of whom I believe he met online. Please be careful and good luck on your weight loss journey."  

Seven years along this road, writing straight from my heart-- doing my best to do my best and sharing things that have helped transform my life, and as many have told me--things that have helped them, too--and that is all this person took from it?

In that moment, I forgot all about the 2nd Agreement. I eagerly grabbed the poison and it was bottoms up.

I went straight back to bed and slept until noon, hoping I could somehow cleanse this garbage from my brain. It didn't work. The poison created a mixture of anger and hurt. And mostly hurt.

I spoke with one support friend who shared with me how they once ran across an online forum where they love to bash weight loss bloggers--and yep, several in there also had horrible things to say about me. I also spoke with the author of the blog where this comment appeared and she shared with me how she deleted two two other similar type comments on that same blog post, but accidentally missed this one.

"Let it go." "Let it roll off your back like water on a duck." "You're ingesting poison, stop it." "You know the truth, you know what's in your heart, you know how passionate you are in what you do--that's all that matters." ----just some of the things I was reminded of today.

And they're right. And still, it hurts and bothers me. I'm trying to let it go. I really am. I need to write this post and get it out of my system. Forgive me while I purge this nonsense. You're so kind to still be reading this post, thank you.

Can we talk, here? Look...

Going through a divorce after twenty-one years of marriage, right in the middle of the last year or so of my initial 275 pound weight loss, was difficult. Facing the prospect of dating--something I hadn't experienced since my teen years, was also difficult. Now add this...

I was completely transformed physically and receiving attention in ways I never expected. My brain still thought of me in 500 pound terms and whenever someone would compliment to the contrary, I wanted to believe it, but still couldn't. But even still, I was attracted to it, because maybe if I heard positive things enough, I'd start believing it myself. This led to many poor decisions. Many poor decisions were made much easier because of an almost non-existent set of boundaries.

I'm not going to get into specifics of each one, but there were two relationships (one lasted only 4 days) with women whom I met online, who were also weight loss bloggers and readers of my blog. Both of those relationships ended horribly in ways many wouldn't believe. Both of these happened over five years ago.

Since then, I've had a few relationships with people whom I met in person, only one was a blogger--and I didn't meet her online, I met her at a speaking event of mine. And I've dated, even recently, and who knows where that might lead. One thing's for sure, the next serious relationship I enter, will be the healthiest by far, because of the personal growth I've experienced.

I share quite a bit, but I don't share every detail of my private life, anymore. I've learned some tough lessons along the way.

The powerful impact May 15th and May 19th, 2014 made on me (I refer to those as my epiphany days) has changed my life forever. Those days are in the archives if you care to read those.

Those were the days I finally discovered how to be okay with me. I discovered how to love me. I discovered a path to my personal happiness regardless of circumstances. I discovered things that would forever free me from looking for validation or adoration from others, in an effort to somehow prop up how I felt about myself.

Don't get me wrong, I still appreciate compliments--but they're no longer put to work against my deep seeded insecurities...because I'm okay with me, regardless. I've traded in several insecurities for guaranteed security come what may.

And that's what I needed most along this road. I needed to learn how to accept and love me. I needed to learn how to find happiness from within. I needed a spiritual cleansing. And these things I needed--things I'm eternally grateful for today, was never and will never be anything I could possibly find from an external provider. These things--the lock boxes within my heart, mind and soul--needed the keys of perspective, ones I truly believe were divinely dropped on me on the above mentioned dates.

I take what I do in helping others very seriously and very professionally. When someone tries to turn an online correspondence to an inappropriate/off topic place, I remind them once to keep it weight loss related. If they push, I simply withdraw from the conversation and I don't respond again. If they still persist, I block them from whatever social media I can.

The fantastic successes happening in the support groups I co-facilitate are incredible blessings to me. I'm lucky to be a very small part of our group member's success. I'm passionate about what I do each day. I'm passionate about maintaining my food sobriety, including my abstinence from refined sugar and I'm passionate about sharing my experiences on this long and winding road that can lead many different places. I know, through experience, it ultimately can lead to a freedom that's constantly evolving, growing and defining itself.

It's all about learning and growing. And in that, there are no failures, only opportunities to learn and grow.

This isn't exactly the post I set out to write. But it says enough. And I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to read it all.

Oh--by the funky day set me way off balance in my food schedule, as you'll clearly see in the Live-Tweet times on each food tweet below. But, I made it through. I feel better now.

And most importantly, I must remember to refrain from ingesting the poison offered by anyone, especially those who know little to none about who I really am and what I'm really about.

My Tweets Today:

Thank you for reading and your continued support,

Saturday, January 30, 2016

January 30th, 2016 Outside Of Our Fog

January 30th, 2016 Outside Of Our Fog

I slept in this morning really well. A few hours later, I took an awesome nap. Today was a good rest day. It was well rounded, too. I had some really solid support connections, prepared some great meals and picked up and brought home my grandson.

I had a friend watch Noah while I made my way to the gym for a quality workout, then came home for dinner and playing with the Noah Monster (a game he loves to play where he pretends to be a monster and I pretend to be frightened). I wasn't planning on getting Noah today, but it worked out well. And he's always so much fun!
 photo Noah Wrestling_zpsuxqsknhb.jpg
Getting down in the floor and wrestling or running after him is very easy at my current weight. At my heaviest, most of this wouldn't have happened. I can say that with certainty considering I was once that 500 pound father of two kids his age. I did a lot of recliner lounging and sofa sleeping when my girls were young. I can't go back two decades and change my lack of activity. But I can sure take extraordinary care now and be very active with my grandson and future grandchildren. I guess it's easy to not fully realize what you missed until you start experiencing life unencumbered by morbid obesity. It's a whole new world.

This full appreciation of where I am is more profound than before. Making the connection between this freedom and these blessings and how what I do each day in support of my continued recovery directly affects all of it, is a daily awareness. I don't take any of this for granted.

The acceptance and full embrace of what I do (my fundamental elements of recovery) and the desire to do these things well is made much easier when I'm most aware of what they support in my life. And what they support is a life worth living to the fullest.

Does it mean I'm not tempted or occasionally lured into old ways of thinking more food will somehow fix things? No. Those thoughts creep in every now and again and always will for the rest of my life. I don't believe those lies anymore. Still, I'm never above getting lost in the deception. And this is exactly why maintaining a strong accountability and support system is critically important. More often than not, the perspective of another who's residing outside of our fog, and who's experienced in navigating this course, can help us see and guide us through.

My Tweets Today:

Thank you for reading and your continued support,

Friday, January 29, 2016

January 29th, 2016 Bring Joy

January 29th, 2016 Bring Joy

Today was a long day. It was highlighted by finishing up a big project at work and a nice visit from Noah, mid-afternoon. I put some headphones on him and gave him a microphone and he immediately started talking... "love you," and " do you do?" (See Tweet-Pic below) That kid sure knows how to bring joy into a room.

I made it home late and decided a nap was a great idea. I was really tired. And since I'm off tomorrow, it was too easy to justify. I must say, it was some great sleep. I'm glad I rested well this evening.

The challenge now is to get back to bed and get some more--because I'm way behind on quality sleep. My body knows it and needs it.

I sacrificed my workout tonight in exchange for sleep. On one hand this was good, on the other, I honestly must make a better commitment to my exercise schedule. The non-negotiable stance I apply to certain things obviously doesn't apply to my workouts. That fact could catch up with me if I'm not careful. I'm starting to consider ideas to help me get a little more consistency in my schedule. It's an area deserving of my serious attention. 

I'm severely behind on email and blog comment replies. I will catch up tomorrow. I sincerely appreciate your feedback and questions!

Allowing the Tweets to take it the rest of the way tonight.

My Tweets Today:

Thank you for reading and your continued support,

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